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I have been intimately immersed in the left-behind parent issue for the last 3.5 years ever since my precious child was taken without permission or cona bullshit story. Stay in the shadows if you have hit or abused your wife, you are not a role model (advocate) any of us parents want.

Unity is a myth. Each case is different and needs to be judged on the facts of the individual case. Grouping dissimilar cases into a bundle and expecting the same result in each instance is an unrealistic approach. This approach waters down the strongest cases that determine policy and can force action from authorities. The only commonality is that we don’t have access to our children. Period.

Do not chastise or embarrass your wife or her family on the internet or in the media. Many of you think the shame factor works — it doesn’t. This idea underscores the lack of understanding of the Japanese culture and tends to validate both abuse claims and perceptions. Exhibit some restraint if you are truly focused. Try and think before you speak and act.

Know your adversary, take the time to understand the culture you are dealing with, how they think, negotiate and respond. Try to avoid Japanese and American Lawyers who are experts in this. They know just as much as you do, and can only be roadblocks to negotiations unless there is a true trust element between sides.

Work closely with the State Department without demanding from them; try to partner with them and be honest. They want the same thing you want — it’s all in the approach. There is no U.S. or Japanese conspiracy to withhold your child from you.

If you know where your child is, send small letters or postcards to her home or her school. Perhaps include some small pocket money. This shows a willingness to provide support for your child. Always address these letters to the child and profess how you love and miss them. Don’t blame the other parent in these postcards or letters. Be consistent.

Try to reach out to a third party to negotiate on your behalf someone you both know and trust. Again, you should approach without anger or aggression. Make an honest sympathetic plea. If you have transgressions, apologize humbly and be sympathetic, not pathetic.

MOST IMPORTANT. Keep the message consistent: one of reunion and love for your child. Never resort to anger or revenge, and never demand punishment. Enough is enough. Think about your child and not what was taken from you but what was taken from your child.

Lastly, I would like to thank all of you who have supported and encouraged my path. I would also like to thank those of you from whom I have learned that anger, disgusting racist and hateful speech, personal attacks, shifting of blame and a total lack of any responsibility had stopped me from going down the same path. I wish you the best I can.

I guess the Maryland courts had some question as well about Peter Paul Toland, Jr.’s contention that he was trying to bring his daughter “BACHome.” His fight was never to be won in a United States court, but that didn’t dissuade him from shopping around in as many forums as possible in a vainglorious attempt to impose US law — from multiple jurisdicitons within the United States — on a sovereign nation, Japan.

http://www.leagle.com/xmlResult.aspx?xmldoc=In%20MDCO%2020120328347.xml&docbase=CSLWAR3-2007-CURR

This always has been, and always will be, a Japanese legal issue, specifically the country’s lack of joint custody legislation and the lack of enforcement powers, i.e., contempt of court provisions, for any access/visitation judgments that may be rendered by its family courts. Absent a change in these fundamentals, people like Peter Paul Toland, Jr. will never prevail, particularly, as it turns out in his case, since his daughter never even set foot on American soil.

Toland’s original case was adjudicated in Japan, and a judgment was rendered against him in Japan. Rather than stand and fight within Japan’s court system — as I and many others have done — Toland fled the jurisdiction and took his case before the American courts, first in Washintgton state and then later in Maryland. Methinks the Commander has spent a little too much time on the gunboats, my freinds. The Black Ships have already sailed from Yokohama, sir — 150 years ago, that is. It is only through concerted diplomatic and political pressure from our State Department that Japan can be persuaded to do the right thing and amend its antiquated and inequitable child custody laws and bestow real enforcement powers on its courts. Going after one’s Japanese partner in American courts — a tactic advanced and practiced by Toland and others in the BACHome community of which the Commander is a part — is a fool’s errand — a children’s crusade, if you will. And it only reinfiorces the “Us vs. Them” mentality which charcaterizes Japanese beneficiaries of the current system and opponents of any change to it. “This is America speaking! Open up your ports or prepare to be fired upon!” Resistance to foreign domination goes way back, let me assure you.

My own daughter was born in Japan and lived her entire life in Japan, with the exception of four vacations to the US as a child. Nevertheless, one of Toland’s learned associates — Walter Benda — once told me I should file kidnapping charges against my daughter’s mother — with the Sheriff’s Department in Texas (my permamnet US address)! “Hi-Ho, Silver! Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

I did make sure to explain to Mr. Benda that 1) my daughter was not kidnapped, but that I lost custody of her through the Japanese courts,  and 2) my daughter never resided in Texas, thus any agency of the Texas state government would not have jurisdiction in the matter. Benda still thought it was a good idea that I file charges against my Japanese ex-wife there.

Some people just don’t get it — and never will, I suspect.

‘Nuff said.

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Expectations low as Hague signing approaches

Treaty seen by many as mere window dressing in hunt for international community’s approval

Several months ago I made a bet with a friend about how the Hague Convention on international child abduction will be applied after Japan finishes implementing it through domestic legislation. My bet was this: If a Japanese court ever does order the return of a child wrongfully brought or retained here, the first case will be one in which both parents are non-Japanese. Needless to say, I hope to lose.

Read full article here:

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/text/fl20120221zg.html

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In a recent interview with NHK

http://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/english/movie/feature201202012112.html

Bruce Roman Getti Gherbetti tells the world that “In the case of child abuse, then perhaps yes, you will remove the parent from a child or vice versa, but not in the case of spousal abuse. It is not a reason to not return the child. This is not acceptable.” If anybody had any doubt up to this point that this fellow was totally self-serving and didn’t give a rat’s ass about the rest of his LBP “brethren,” just reflect on this point for a moment. Juxtaposed in the same piece against attorney Kensuke Ohnuki asserting that Japanese mothers are within their rights to abduct children in order to flee from abusive spouses and you have the recipe for a perfect PR disaster.

Most self-respecting left-behind parents abhor the idea of spousal abuse, and condemn it in no uncertain terms. Gherbetti, however, does not have that “luxury,” as he himself pled guilty to assaulting his wife in Canada and was accordingly convicted of the crime.

This is the problem with putting any left-behind parent with a questionable history forward as a representative for the cause. My experience has shown me that, desperate for “support”, many LBPs will rally behind virtually anybody who claims to be a proponent of change of the Japanese system and who arrogantly assumes the mantle of “leadership”.

I knew this guy was going to be trouble from my very first encounter with him last Spring, and my fears are now being realized. He and the rest of the BACHome “leaders” are setting the cause of left-behind parents back decades with their self-righteous stupidity and insistence on playing martyrs for the global audience. They are like little children with melted chocolate smeared all over their faces who insist to their mommies that it wasn’t they who ate the Hershey bars.

I really wish these people would crawl back under the rocks from which they emerged so that decent and self-respecting parents can one day be reunited with their kids.

Hopefully Gherbetti, at least. will have exhausted his visa runs in the near future so that we can once again advance toward the goals we so desperately seek.

No doubt Gherbetti and his ilk will accuse me of “cyber-bullying” for this commentary, to which I can only respond by saying, “A least I never beat the shit out of a woman, you coward.”

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Divorce and Child Custody Issues in the Japanese Legal System

Colin P.A. Jones
Professor, Doshisha University Law School

Professor Colin P.A. Jones
(Photo by Shinchosha)

Introduction

Japan has developed a growing reputation as a haven for international parental child abduction. Major media outlets in the United States and other countries have brought attention to a number of recent cases of children being unilaterally removed by a Japanese parent from the United States before or after divorce, often in violation of American law and court orders.

Attempts to achieve the return of children taken to Japan through the Japanese legal system tend to be unsuccessful. As a result, some children who were born and raised in the United States have lost all contact with an American parent and other relatives, American friends, and the American part of their heritage as a consequence. The apparent lack of legal remedies for abduction in Japan is due to a number of factors that are discussed in more detail below.

Read full article here:

http://amview.japan.usembassy.gov/e/amview-e20120201-02.html

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Tony at age 15 posing for 

Freshman class photo at Seton Hall Prep

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I would rather have the counsel of a handful of wise men than support from an army of fools. — Tony Del Vecchio

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Child abduction issue should be key concern in Japan-U.S. relations

by Ryo Takahashi

JAN. 15, 2012 – 06:15AM JST

TOKYO —

The issue of international child abductions in Japan should be a key concern in bilateral relations between Japan and the United States.

For years, the international community has been pressuring Japan to abide by international human rights standards in preventing cross-border parental kidnapping.

Japan has been censured for not being a signatory to the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, which protects children from wrongful removal or retention from their habitual place of residence.

Though former Prime Minister Naota Kan announced on May 20 last year that Japan intends to sign The Hague Convention, Japan is the only G8 member that has yet to become a signatory. LBPs (Left Behind Parents) are cautious to find the signing as reason to cheer because changes are also needed in Japan’s family courts for them to be reunited with their children. The continued condoning of both domestic and international child abduction cases can be traced to Japan’s family court.

Japan’s family court often awards sole custody to the parent with whom the child is residing. If the other parent wishes to see their child, permission by the parent to whom custodial rights were awarded becomes necessary.

This means that the parent who takes away the child from the other parent first will be in a superior bargaining position, since the family court overwhelmingly recognizes the status quo of whom the child is residing with.

Many LBPs have criticized the Japanese judicial system for condoning abduction by granting sole custody rights to the parent who snatches the child away first. In situations where cross-border kidnappings take place, the foreign parent is effectively powerless, as the Japanese family court will rule in favor of the parent with whom the child is residing. This has led some bereaved foreign LBPs to refer to Japan as a “black hole for child abduction.”

First, the Japanese government’s stance to become a signatory of The Hague Convention is an indication of changes in favor of adopting international human rights standards.

The move comes at a time when the numbers of international marriages and divorces are increasing in Japan. According to the Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare, approximately 19,000 international marriages ended in divorce last year in Japan, comprising 7.5% of the total number of divorces in Japan. In 2010, the ratio to divorces to all marriages in Japan was approximately 36%. Children of divorce are at significant risk of losing access to one parent in the current family law system.

Things are finally starting to change at both the international and domestic levels. There are two model cases, one in Wisconsin and one in Matsudo, Chiba.

Japan has stuck to awarding sole custody to one parent following a divorce since the Meiji era. Though some have mentioned this as evidence of sole custody being a part of Japan’s culture, in reality, this system has also created a legal system that condones child abductions.

In addition, on Dec 23, 2011, a girl was returned to her father in Wisconsin after being abducted by her Japanese mother nearly 4 years earlier, the first return of an abducted child from Japan by means of the courts.

She was reunited with her father when her mother, who had been arrested in April 2011 in Hawaii on child abduction charges, agreed to a plea bargain to be released from jail in exchange for returning their daughter to the United States.

The case, which received wide coverage in international and Japanese media, marked the first time for Japanese media such as NHK and Asahi to use the term “tsuresari” (abduction) rather than “tsurekaeru” (to bring home).

Of course, a plea bargain is still not the equivalent of a change in stance in Japan’s family court, but changes are also gradually being implemented in the domestic sphere as well.

Many people following the child abduction issue are closely monitoring the development of a high-profile domestic abduction case in Matsudo, Chiba Prefecture, to see if a judicial precedent making child abductions an unlawful act will be made.

On April 26, 2011, former Justice Minister Satsuki Eda mentioned three criteria that need to be considered in determining the custody of children after divorce, as stated in article 766, in his remarks to the Committee on Judicial Affairs.

The three criteria are: the abduction of children should be eligible for consideration as child abuse; the issuance of custody rights should favor parents who are willing to allow the other parent visitation of their children (also known as the “friendly parent rule”); and parents who commit unlawful abductions of their child should be at a disadvantage in the issuance of custody rights.

At the domestic level, article 766 of Japan’s civil code, which stipulates legal guidelines for the custody of children after divorce, was revised on June 3, 2011, to include a provision which states that visitation and economic support must be deliberated between the two spouses before divorce papers are submitted.

As stated in the “friendly parent rule,” one of the three criteria underlined by Eda, not allowing visitation, ought to work unfavorably toward obtaining custody rights. In cases where the child has already been abducted, the LBP may offer the abducting parent visitation in fighting to recover their child in court.

In effect, the revision of article 766 is significant, as the abduction of a child by a parent will be in breach of the new provision. This measure, if properly enforced by Japan’s family court, will help prevent the abduction of children by a parent.

However, when asked to recognize the remarks made by Eda, Tatsushige Wakabayashi, the judge presiding over the case, reportedly remarked, “What the justice minister says at the Diet is irrelevant.”

In response, various LBP groups have called for Wakabayashi to step down. Wakabayashi has yet to make a final verdict, leaving both domestic LBP groups and the international community tense anticipating his decision.

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